Why Making Time for Family Matters (and How Quickly It Slips Away)
This picture was taken on a beach trip that feels like yesterday. On the left is my youngest daughter, Nicole. On the right, my mom, who loved the ocean more than anyone I know. In the middle are my stepson Eli, my granddaughter Riley, and my grandson Nicholas. Three generations, one sandy snapshot, and what feels now like a whole lifetime wrapped into a single day.
Nicole passed away on January 2, 2022. My mom passed away on October 7, 2024.
When I look at this picture, I donโt just see faces. I see time. Time that once felt endless, and now feels fragile.
A Tradition of Time Together
For as long as I can remember, my mom was the chief travel director of our family. Every summer, she made sure we packed up and went to the beach. She didnโt just like the beachโshe lived for it. Sand in your shoes, salty water in your eyes, people sprawled out everywhere, and somehow there was always a spread of food that tasted better under a beach umbrella. That was her magic.
Over the years, our numbers grew. It started with just five of usโmy siblings and her. Then came our significant others, then our kids, then their partners and babies. These days, when we all show up, the headcount runs into the 30s.
Destin, Florida, was our home base for years, though we experimented with everything from the Carolina Outer Banks to San Diego. But when my mom couldnโt travel far during her last summer, we didnโt cancel. We took the vacation to her instead. She lived in Phoenix, so we traded ocean sand for desert sand. Different landscape, same purpose: family time.
She knew, instinctively, that unless someone claims the responsibility, families drift into the chaos of โsomeday.โ And she was right. You always think you have timeโthe next phone call, the next trip, the next holiday. But life has its own plans, and someday isnโt guaranteed.
The Busy Season That Never Ends
Iโm the oldest of the siblings, and for years she nudged me to take over as travel director. The baton has been passed now, though thankfully my Pops, brothers, and sisters want to carry the tradition too.
Still, between work deadlines, juggling kids and grandkids, and trying to keep friendships alive, Iโm busyโas are they. The kind of busy where โletโs plan a weekendโ can stretch into six months of group texts and no actual weekend.
And yet, I know this: if I donโt claim the time, we lose it.
Itโs not that we donโt want to connect. Itโs that everyday life fills in the cracks like sand on the beach. Work obligations. Grocery lists. A thousand tiny fires that donโt matter much in the long run but steal the minutes right out from under us.
Sometimes I think back to summers when the kids were little and laugh at how exhausted I felt then. I didnโt realize that exhaustion was the easy part. At least then, everyone was under one roof. Now weโre scattered across states, schools, jobs, and calendarsโand connection takes real work.
The Science of Connection (Because My Mom Knew It Before Researchers Did)
Hereโs the thing: family connection isnโt just sentimental. Itโs survival. Studies show that people with strong social ties live longer, recover faster from illness, and handle stress better. Kids who grow up hearing family stories develop more resilience and confidence.
My mom didnโt need research to prove it. She knew in her bones that gathering us, summer after summer, was about more than vacations. It was about teaching us who we were and reminding us that we belongedโto each other.
Why Being Purposeful Matters
What Iโve learnedโsometimes the hard wayโis that connection doesnโt happen by accident. You have to choose it. You have to book it.
When I scroll back through photos, I donโt see the meetings I rushed to or the emails I sent at midnight. I see Nicole at the beach, my mom with her sunhat, my kids laughing in the waves. I see the faces of the people who shaped my life and, in turn, the people I hope Iโm shaping.
Time passes. You blink, and the โsomedayโ conversation you meant to have becomes the one you wish youโd had.
So now, I try to be purposeful. Sometimes that means big thingsโplanning a holiday trip, corralling everyone for a reunion. Sometimes itโs as simple as a text that says, โThinking of you.โ Either way, I donโt want to leave it to chance anymore.
A Simple Question for You
Life is busy. I know. I live it every day. But family timeโwhether with the people who share our DNA or the ones we choose as kinโmatters more than anything else. Itโs the thing that endures.
So Iโll leave you with the question Iโm asking myself every day now:
๐ Who did you connect with today?
